also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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