Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Less talking, more tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize