I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize