I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
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Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
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If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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