I look better un-naked...
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
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