So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't put those talents on a resume
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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