How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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