He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
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