yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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