I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize