i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize