I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize