I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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