with your own penis?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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