i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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