woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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