Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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