Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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