6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
its not stalking. its research.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize