The maid of honor just puked.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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