new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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