Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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