What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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