It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize