I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
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Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
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I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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