Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
God I need to hump something, right now.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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