You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
i think im in europe. pls send help
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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