I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize