watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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