he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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