Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Please don't give away my fajitas
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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