God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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