LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
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Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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