I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
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Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
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Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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