The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize