we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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