So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize