If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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