Betty ford says i'm here all night
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize