I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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