so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
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He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
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He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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