it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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