You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
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I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
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All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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