Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
i just had sex bonerless
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck appropriateness.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize