Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize