I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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