Little spoons don't ask big questions
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize