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I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
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