my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize