I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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